It's So Much Better This Way...

This morning I jumped up after my Alarm went off. You want to know the key for rising at your intended time? Use a banging song for your alarm clock. In this case, I have employed "Just Jesus" by Hillsong Young and Free. I love that song. Anyway, I get up and head to the bathroom to handle the morning duties. I read some scripture, do some Thanking and Pray for some folk that came to my heart. As I am praying for the satisfaction of Jesus to become their reality I start singing pieces of "Just Jesus". Without permission, tears flow and I start laughing, hysterically. Tears and the beautiful sound of liberating laughter and satisfaction. As I consider how God in His infinite goodness as a Father has effortlessly managed to usher me into this place of realization. Gosh it seems it has taken forever! I think back to the times where I tasted but was so restless in my pursuit. I kept trying to mix Jesus and other stuff. You know, make me a good ole Jesus cocktail. I have played with the ingredients for years. You know what I mean? I figured if I could make the best concoction with my hidden motives, and twisted realities, and misplaced wants and overlooked needs; I could land on Satisfaction Island and relax....finally. Abba knew better. He knew me. He knew my heart, my desperation and the driving forces for my search, my disgusting appetites and still never never never let me Go...Sheesh!  

On a ride home from work recently with my co-worker, I hit the culmination of it all. This won't be the last culminating moment in this beautiful delicious truth, but roll with me for a bit. We are having a conversation about food. Yum. I make a comment about why I don't buy certain things and store them in my home. If it is there, I'll eat it. She says, "Jessica, that's Greed!". What? Oh my goodness really? I'm flabbergasted. Never in one million years did I consider that to be a thing. I innocently considered it my method of self-control. She drops me off, I run in the house, get the dog settled, and start digging. Looking for articles, and truths about Greed and gluttony. One thing leads to another and suddenly I am on this beautiful undoing straight in to the truth. Truth I have heard my whole life. "Christ is your satisfaction". If I am honest guys, I didn't know how to make this truth real to me truly. I would sing the words, I would pray the words, but I really didn't believe the words. It wasn't because I didn't want to. I didn't know how to. So many conflicting messages. 

Quick lesson? In my reading about greed and gluttony, the message was pretty close to being the same. The hunger, the driving force for these characteristics or traits stemmed from the same things. A fundamental lack in one thing or another in our growing up. And ultimately, the God sized hole we're all born with. Let's go back to the fundamental lack. Lack of emotional, mental, physical needs being met. Along the way learn how to satisfy these needs ourselves. A fear of lack is born and the ravenous behavior manifest in one way or another. Then there is culture. We are bombarded with messages and images that encourage us to live in the constant tension of wanting and getting. We want, we get, and we are still dissatisfied. Temporal things can never, ever satisfy. Duh right? Except no. It's so easy to become intoxicated with this endless empty pursuit. 

Guys! There is freedom from this. Jesus. Only Jesus. Only Him. I am not going to lie to you. It takes a God breathed reality for this to take root in us. Remember I said I had heard this my whole entire life? I started to ask God to make things clear to me. Help me understand, help me know. I can't tell you why it didn't happen sooner. At this point I don't care. I am just happy to really be able to grasp this single truth. Jesus is my Satisfaction. John Piper says this, "The more I am satisfied in Him, the more He is glorified in me." Glorified or the word Glory in the Greek means Doxa. Doxa means common belief or popular opinion. The more God's popular opinion is my reality, the more I am satisfied!! Jesus is our abundance. Him, not stuff. This stuff is fleeting. It changes, it goes away. But Jesus....He doesn't! There is just more of Him to get to know! Guys, WHEW! I'm not writing this to convince you as much as I am to testify. I can't convince you it, but I hope to encourage you to seek. Seek knowing that he is goooooood and will answer. Psalms 90: 14-17 (TPT). READ IT!

Can I share one more thing? As I am rejoicing in all of this, my mind, my humanity wanted to question my sadness. It wanted to challenge this truth. The sadness I carry surrounding my Mom's death sometimes feels so unbearable. I acknowledge what was going on in my heart during this moment or adoration and thanksgiving. As I thanked our Father for it all anyway, you know what fell out of my mouth? Jesus makes it bearable. He doesn't want to take it. He knows that if I feel it, it helps me feel close to her, remember her. So in it, Jesus makes it bearable! WHEW!!! 

Jesus is all we need guys! He helps us love Him, want Him! He helps us see things the right way. He helps us love, and want the right things. He sustains and heals, and creates, and causes and ultimately SATISFIES!! He's REAL!!

Psalms 119:20 "I am continually consumed by these irresistible longings, these cravings to obey your every commandment!" TPT

Take the journey, ask the questions....He'll answer!