Today I filled my own cup.
Today I didn’t depend on or wait to be validated by another.
Today I didn’t put the responsibility of soothing my old bloody wounds on another.
I almost did though, if I can be honest. I almost reacted to the terror on the inside by getting ready to put a demand on another to assure and reassure me. How fair is that? To require someone to fix what they didn’t break. Even worse to live completely unaware that this is a cycle and never address it. Yikes!
I’m currently in a space in time, where the opportunity for deeper healing through application of practical and spiritual wisdom has presented itself. It seems like everyday an internal land mine is being set off and I’m being tested by my reaction. Will I fly off the handle or will I take a step back and look at the facts.
Childhood wounds can be aggressive and destructive if left unchecked. They destroy our ability to operate in relationships of all kinds healthily. We find ourselves requiring another party to meet our demands, read our minds, or we are just down right neglectful. It becomes exhausting. We repeat cycles and communication becomes something we never learn to do or well for that matter.
Today I came across a post that was so timely it was scary. I reposted it so that others could be blessed by it. It read that if the anxiety of rejection overwhelms us do, the following etc., one of the suggested actions were to speak kindly to your inner child. That’s when it hit me. Usually when I feel like I am in a world wind of emotion, likely my inner child is drowning in past pain. Electrocuted by a memory attached to the same feeling we both may be experiencing in the moment. Suddenly she takes over and starts calling the shots. Today I realized that my relationship with my inner child is important. I am in charge of reminding her that we have grown up, and we are doing well. I have to remind her that we are deeply loved and have the freedom to walk away from harmful things, erect boundaries, and change our mind. I have to tell her that we don’t have to jump to conclusions and depend on assumptions. We only deal in fact as we are led by the Spirit.
When I made room to love on my younger self, I became empowered. I remembered that I was amazing, strong, an asset, a warrior, able, capable… worthy. I felt empowered to act and live in the truth of who I am! I was able to silence imposter syndrome and silence the voices that threaten peace. I took off timidity and put on courage! Whew!
I am my best self for all those I come in contact with, when my young me and present me are in harmony. I am responsible for maintaining that harmony by how I love us! It’s a daily commitment and some things we just can’t live in the hand of another… we have the pleasure and privilege and it’s really a gift… Truly 😉
Say this out loud: I AM ENOUGH. I am QUALITY meeting ALL EXPECTATIONS….
Love you,
Jess 💜🌸