Hey Y’all! It’s been a few weeks and a lot has been going on. I vowed to write an entry when I felt better or less shamble like but what would that profit anyone who needs to be reminded that there is still life in the breaking and making of your, our story?
I’ve been intent the last couple of months regarding hearing what God is saying about each month. I listened to a video by Jamal Miller sharing the word of the Lord for July. He declared change. After my June, I was ready and expectant. The wind of the miraculous was going to usher in the manifestation of everything I needed. A new job, rent money, money, motivation, money, and all types of goodness. Change blew alright. It wasn’t all bad but it didn’t all feel good either. In May, the Lord advised that I would be getting ready to walk into a season of hardship. Say what??? Bruh, NO! No! NO and NO!!! I was pissed! Like I can’t go through anymore hardship are you kidding me? NO! That’s not fair! None the less, ok. Maybe it won’t be so bad! June flexed on me a bit but I could attribute that to self inflicted consequences right? July swept in and I walked into the month confident, sure, I shall not be moved sure; I’m talking sure sure!!
By July 31st, my questions went from “How God?” to “Where da weed at?” Now simmer down y’all... I ain’t smoke no weed, but I came close. Tired and exhausted are words that I would use to describe my position, my heart. How did I go from “He’s given me Hinds feet” (Ps. 18:33) to feeling like I don’t care anymore? God how come it’s getting harder and not easier? What about me? What about my blessings? What about....
I can go on and on. But here is what I know... There is no way we can walk into God’s promise for us, live out the truth of royal status still living from a fractured foundation. A crappy foundation. And when all that is restored, bottom line is WE CAN’T LIVE FAITHLESS! The stuff that made us, that we’ve given a home to knowingly and otherwise has to go. When a building, a business is being remodeled sometimes the process requires it to be gutted or torn down even! That mess is not pretty! And if the building had feelings, I’m sure it would howl out an ouch or two! This is what I know God is doing in me. Generational curses, passivity, fear, disregard, automated responses birthed from wounds and non-nurtured places cannot define me anymore!! Only Truth!
Can I be honest? I haven’t done so well this month. Maintaining my posture. I’ve almost kind of checked out. But it is hard, when you’ve tasted and can witness for yourself the restructuring of your structure. When you go to reach for what use to do the job and you gag a bit at the thought.
My friend sent me a message this evening, and by the time I got to the bottom of it, I was in tears, crying in my hand because it was like water to my dry places...
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-4 NIV
https://www.bible.com/111/jas.1.2-4.niv
They followed it up with “Hang on. It’s worth the wait!”
In all of my emotional fit having ways, if I don’t know nothing, I know that this is True!!! How I get there is up to the Father because in the words of my friend Britt “He does All things Well!” Well May not feel good BUT IT IS GOOD!
I’m not going backward, I may stumble forward, but I’m not going backwards. I won’t bury my head in the sand, I WILL NOT BE A REPEAT OFFENDER, I WILL NOT SETTLE!
And you BETTER NOT EITHER!! Keep pushing and keep going!!! He knows the way that I, that YOU TAKE (Job 23:10). Don’t stop creating, don’t stop healing, don’t stop evolving. Don‘t stop believing, praying, worshiping, reading, writing... whatever it is...DON’T STOP!!!
One of the goodies that came from July? I turned 33 (Yayyyyy) and I realized this, “I AM WORTH THE TROUBLE...” Every bit of effort God puts forth for you, every bit of effort required by you and FOR YOU....BABY YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Jesus hung on a cross for you...And put Victory in your Hand. You’re destined to win. The fight is fixed. This is for our making... WHEW!!
Let’s Go!! We got stuff and people waiting for us!!!
I LOVE US!!
Jess 💕
YOU ARE ENOUGH! You are Quality. You MEET ALL EXPECTATIONS!