“My fellow believers, when it seems as though you are facing nothing but difficulties, see it as an invaluable opportunity to experience the greatest joy that you can! For you know that when your faith is tested it stirs up power within you to endure all things. And then as your endurance grows even stronger it will release perfection into every part of your being until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.”
James (Jacob) 1:2-4 TPT
Difficulties. Hardship. Tough. Again? Mortified and Exhausted...blah blah blah blah!
Would be a few words to describe a very rough time. This time it isn’t rough because I’ve made really poor choices for myself. I mean, I could be reaping from bad seeds planted at some point or the consequences of poorly managed moments and resources, however this time... The waters are troubled and I know it’s building in me a faith I have never known. Insert the curse words (hush holy rollers)...
Building Faith-
Consistency has never been my thing. I take that back. For years, I consistently believed in falsehoods. To keep it simple. I consistently failed to follow through, and allowed my emotions to determine whether I would count myself worth the trouble. Consistently, I did that and it produced very little. In my failure to launch, I believe that God’s sovereignty was still at work.
Fast forward to now, I am noticing a difference amid the tumultuous waters. My faith is intact. My heart is convinced, and I’m learning what it means to co-captain my ship. While the Holy Spirit steers this thing, my job is to agree with the outcome. Build Faith by agreeing with the outcome! The outcome is a perfect one. A good one. The best one!! Even if I can’t see it. (Ugh) If anything in our ship is out of wack I get to go address it with the adequate tools while He steers the ship (Me) to the Goodness of the Lord (Ps. 27). Which happens over and over, the goodness. In this case since we’re being metaphoric and all, my tools would be the Word of God. Truth. Knowing who I am and what I’m capable of plays big here!
Let’s get specific! Maybe as we rough it through these waters (trials, difficulties, hardship) some of the water hops in the boat. A lot of water hops in the boat. Chile, old me would panic about the water and pass out. Escape. Avoid. Abort, Abort, Abort. Let’s be clear... I wouldn’t even have made it this far out into these scary stupid waters less I was feeling good hopeful and agreed to go deeper. Tuh, just drunk with optimism! Anyhow, now, after I panic just a little bit, I grab my tools and I scoop the water out. I search for the issue, I follow instructions if there are any and if it’s silent, I have to pull on what I learned in the calm. In the moments of teaching. Feel good times... Oy-vey!
You’ve got this and I got you...
Even if it means I'm ship wrecked? Even if it means I have to start over again? Even if it is mortifying to who I am as a woman, an adult, a person. Even if right now today I want to hide in a cave and be left alone. Even if it means reaching out to your people just so you don’t have to be strong alone. That’s awkward in itself for me. Reaching out. I’ve mastered enduring alone... I fantasize about the coming out on top and telling of my testimony after I endured all by myself and survived. Pride driven Lunatic!
Even if digging up my foundation to fundamentally change my core so that my vibration matches the frequency of heavens plans for me feels like it’s going to kill me... Even then?
Yep. Even then...
Daaaang!! Ok. Ok, so here we are. Cornered by the demands of Change. And I’m all in my feelings and they have me wanting me to Abort...
But I can’t. I can’t give up. I’m too deep in now. I believe God now. I trust Him now. I believe that some of the things promised are so close, I can taste them. I believe that my frame work is being built, I believe there is a new strength being formed for whatever is next...
What if faith means I don’t get what I want. I get what I need? What if Faith means we don’t get what we want, we get what we need? And in getting what we need it doesn’t look like what we want or what we thought we were ready for? What if it means it’s building us for a greater time and moment? That now isn’t about what you think it is because the future you needs you to experience today? What if it ain’t all right or alright? Does it change how you feel and respond to a Good God who never changes His mind about you and your path even if your circumstances say less?
Refer to above scripture I reckon! Tested Faith, Stirs up power. Power means ability. The ability to endure...
I told y’all I wasn’t ever consistent. Now’s my chance... Nows OUR chance! Hmph, 😏
there is so much beauty in that!!!
We’ve got this, and HE has us!!
Love you,
Jess
“YOU ARE ENOUGH! Quality. Meeting all expectations!!”